Like A Rock

I have expressed in previous posts how taxing this job has been on all of us here in Beijing, right? Well, now the stress, the constant struggle to keep our heads above water, and knowing that our trip home is just around the corner, is really starting to affect people. I don't know if it is appropriate to use the term, "losing their minds", but that is really how I see things at this point. The long hours, the lack of days off, and everything else has caused people to act in ways I would of never expected from them.

It was about 6:00 am on Monday morning. We had just sent up our first round of hotboxes to the dining room. I was walking into the issue cooler, and as I walked by one of my executive chefs, he had a look on his face that I had never seen on him before. I asked my usual, "you alright?", as I entered the cooler, and he just looked at me with a stone face, shook his head, and went back to preparing his paperwork for lunch service. I was in the cooler organizing all of my mise en place for a good five minutes, when the door opened and in came my chef. On a side note, this is usually where him and I would meet on a daily basis to vent about our day, etc., so this really wasn't anything out of the ordinary. But what happened next was something I never expected in a million years from him. He walked toward me in the cooler, and as he got closer to me I could see that he had tears welling up in his eyes. I asked him what was wrong, and just as I finished my question he broke down. To paint the picture, this is a 40 year old man, an accomplished chef, and a father of three, and he was balling. "I can't do this anymore", is what he kept saying to me. This is a man that I have looked up to since first meeting him, a man who runs a tight kitchen, doesn't put up with anyone's s*it, and the LAST person I expected to act this way. He really was going through a difficult time here. His family was waiting for him back home, and he was having an extremely difficult time communicating with the students. So being the person that I am, I put my hands on his shoulders and encouraged him as best I could. I talked him through his situation, and I gave him as much inspiration as I could. I didn't want to see anyone get defeated by a job, and it was the bottom of the ninth, and he was three runs behind. I won't get into the details of exactly what the conversation was, but I really think that I was able to get inside his head, begin looking optimistically about our situation, and maybe begin to see the light.

Since our conversation in the cooler on that dark Monday, I have come to find out that I am seen in our kitchen as the stable, level-headed individual, who is there for people in their time of need. Not necessarily in situations like the last one, but throughout the day I am there to make people's days. And they look forward to seeing me everyday! I asked a co-worker what it was about me that makes me such an inspiration to those around me and she said, "I look forward to the thirty minutes I get to spend with you everyday because you always have a smile on your face, and you will ALWAYS say something to make me laugh! Without even knowing it, you inspire people in your actions and your words."

Now it really meant a lot to me to hear this. To know that I am going through this difficult time in Beijing, people still look to me to brighten their day. You know what that tells me? That things are not THAT bad here. If I can go to work with a smile on my face each and everyday, and know that I may be able to put a smile on someone else's face as well, I have the perfect job!

And it just took this particular instance to make me realize........